The pros and cons of air travel in the winter

Travel is hard enough under any circumstances, but winter presents a certain seasonal challenge that adds to the mix. As I watched while my flight boarded this morning, I began to consider the pros and cons. Here is my basic list:

Pros

You get to where you need to go. Weil, usually you do. One of my sons had to go back to New York from Chicago last week. He had a direct flight. It left two days late, then went to Columbus, where he was told he would be held there for two more days. Being determined and creative (two very helpful attributes for winter travel), he managed to change his flight to go into Washington, then up to Boston. He arrived very, very late and met is girlfriend who drove him to NY the next morning. Score one for the girlfriend.

Cons

Where to start? This is a partial list, to say the least. As mentioned above, the predictability of your travel goes down so if you really need to be some place, you might want to go early. Next, it's really crowded. Really really crowded. Especially in early January, where every says "Now I really have to get back to work" and are determined to make that trip they have been putting off.

What stands out the most, though, is the shortage of space and what reveals about people. The shortage of space is a huge con, but the people aspect is a pro and a con. It can be inspiring ad depressing all at once. If you board a flight early (usually a function of status on the airline) and just really watch people board the flight, it can be a terribly interesting study in humanity. Just this morning I saw everything from the kindness of the person helping another with their heavy bag into the overhead storage, to the patience of the woman waiting behind the guy who is holding up the flow while he gets out his laptop, glasses, and pens from his briefcase, then reassembles his briefcase before getting it and his suit jacket and overcoat into the overhead, being sure to fold it just perfectly first. Do you think it occurs to this guy that he is holding up 87 people while he takes his time? Apparently not. It clearly also doesn't occur to him that within two minutes, his meticulously folded suit coat will be removed and replaced several times, each time getting crammed more than the last. He tops off this performance by now awkwardly trying to play the courteous role (ill-fitting) by letting the patient woman by him before sitting down. To let her by, be backs (literally) into another woman sitting in front of me, who is not impressed one bit that this guy's ass is in her face. What planet is he from?

Then comes the iPod listening guy who seems to have whacking people in the face with his nylon trade show logo computer bag down to an art form. This is both sad and hilarious to watch. He is also carrying a roll-aboard bag that he will almost certainly now have to gate check, but doesn't know that yet. His computer bag over his shoulder. As he makes his way down the isle, he seems to tack back and forth like a sailboat, all the while looking from side to side, as if there is something spectacular he might miss if he fails to do this, and with each shift, his computer bag is hitting someone's shoulder or face. Nobody seems amused by this but surprisingly, nobody is calling him out on it, either. A few people actually notice and dodge the bag before the blow.

Then there are the overheads themselves. In winter, these pose something akin to an onboard IQ test that people take and fail in very public ways. The biggest offenders are the ones with overstuffed bags. This morning it is a very disheveled guy who appears to be returning from holiday. He pushes and pushes thinking that despite the fact that nothing is budging, that one last push will no longer present the barrier that has been there for the first 13 attempts. When finally forced to gate check the bag, he announces (for pretty much everyone to hear) "well it fit into United". Right. Perhaps it did. But since their overhead bins that accommodate roll-aboards are the same size as the similar ones on this American flight, perhaps it if because this time his bag had heavy ski apparel, extra boots, and Christmas presents he was bringing home, and last time it had a swimsuit and people magazine.

My advice. Three things. First don't travel in the winter unless you have to. Second, if you do, go someplace out of the way where the flight won't be crowded like Topeka or Birmingham. It doesn't matter that you need to go to New York and not Birmingham, the New York flight will be awful and the Birmingham will be better. Well, better, except that when you land you will be in Birmingham. Third, travel at off times, like on a Tuesday a one thirty. That may not be convenient, but at this point you are really just trading one inconvenience for another, right?

If all else fails, go where you go, when you need to go, board early, pack as light as possible, and enjoy the show.

The Insanity of Charles de Gaulle

I recently took an American Airlines flight from Paris Charles de Gaulle Airport to Chicago. The time between stepping out of the taxi in front of the airport and getting on my seat on the plane was a case study of the effect of no logistical planning. Insanity 101 would be the course title.

As you approach terminal 2, American planes are parked on the little spoke to the right of the terminal, so when I walked in, I instinctively went to the right to find the check in area. What I found were machine gun wielding El Al security guys guarding the entrance to El Al check in. Nothing needed to be said, this was clearly not the American Airlines check-in counter. It turns out, it is at the far left side of the terminal. Fine. I get there, and even though I checked in online and printed my boarding card, I still needed to go through preliminary security clearance because it was an international flight. I do that, and this part of the process was the most logical of the morning. I was then directed through security which was close to check-in. Makes sense. Once through security, you are directed to the American gates, that are, of course, on the other end of the terminal. No big deal. I get halfway, and see a sign that directs those for gates 37-51 (give or take a gate or two) up a flight of stairs. No escalator. So now there is a logjam, because the group of senior citizens on their European excursion are all struggling to get their wheel-aboards hauled up the stairs. In fact, they are struggling to get themselves up the stairs. Once up to the top, you basically walk around a 2nd floor restaurant, then... BACK DOWN the stairs. Awesome. The sign for the Admirals club takes you out to the little spoke on the side of the terminal that you noticed coming up in the taxi. OK, cool. The zig up and around the cafe thing was a bit weird, but all good now. Into the club. French pastry. Coffee. All good still. Flight called.. "Gate 45". I go out of the club, up the escalator to the main level, and look for it, thinking it's on our little pod. Nope. It's back in the middle of the terminal, right near the restaraunt we climbed over. No big deal. The gate area is pretty small. It's one of those "Gate along the hallway" type of deals. Then I notice that basically the same gate is for gates 45 and 44. It turns out, they are actually boarding the flight to Chicago and the flight to Dallas at the same time from the same gate ramp. Now we have Dallas people and Chicago people converging like it's a Bears-Cowboys game. I go through the gate agent scanning the tickets (which alone seems to be an epic process) and then come to a revolving door that has four very big quadrants. As it happens, the hallway routing people coming off planes and Into customs CROSSES the gate ramp to the plane. There are a series of doors opening and closing to keep the right people on the right track. It is somewhat akin to the revolving door under the clown on a putt-putt course, except it make sense for putt-putt. So you get through to the other side, where there is a guy waiting to make sure the Dallas people go to the Dallas plane, and tine Chicago people go to the Chicago plane. Of course, there is no Chicago plane, only stairs (again) down the ground,where you proceed onto a bus to take you to the real Chicago gate, which isn't a gate at all, just a stairway up to the plane that is parked out near the tarmac.

I really like Paris. Just not the airport.